If you are easy to get angry and fly off the handle, there are strategies to get to the bottom of the situation and perhaps find a solution. Holding a grudge is detrimental to your health and happiness. Don’t deny and cover up your anger but face it and learn to control your reaction to it. You can learn to get your point across rather than blowing up at a person who takes a different view, or you can walk away until you have better control of yourself.
Frustrations can get the best of you all too often. Friends and family
don’t always respect the boundaries that you have set. Sometimes your toes are stepped on and it’s all too easy to let your anger get away from you. Suppressing anger can increase the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure and other stress related diseases. Yet venting can be even more stressful. Retaliation will usually get a response that doesn’t help the situation and actually causes more damage. It’s only human nature to get irritated and normally it happens a few times a week. It certainly isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it can make you take action to defend yourself or others if attacked. But, be cautious. It can also blind you to other points of view and prevent finding peaceful ways to deal with differences.What makes hurt feelings and anger so hard to handle is because it involves your own judgments and interpretations. When someone disagrees with your opinion, you are apt to blame them for being close minded and not giving enough importance to your point of view. You might interpret something one way because it opens up old wounds, others confronted with the same situation might not react in the same way. It’s best to learn to understand anger and what triggered it.
Holding onto a grudge is like taking rat poison and expecting the rat to die.First of all admit how mad you are. You can’t fix anything unless you recognize the problem, otherwise you might numb yourself by over eating or some other damaging action. Next, leave the scene fast. Leaving gives you time to calm down and a chance to change your perspective. Leaving puts a wedge between you and the target of your anger. Ideally you are avoiding an outburst that you might regret. Now, keep moving, walk, exercise, scrub the floors. Activity releases the feel good hormones and relaxes you.
Talk to a good friend, someone who really knows you and can help you look at the situation from another angle. Talking about it will help release the pressure. In the Gallup poles, 94% of Americans believe it’s important to forgive, yet only half of us put that belief into action. Holding a grudge hurts no one but yourself. If you have a confrontation, don’t take it personally. Take slow deep breaths and calmly repeat your key points. Observe, as if you are a bystander. Keep a respectful tone in your voice. Remind yourself that letting go of anger takes time, for the other person as well as yourself. The Buddhists have a saying, “Send out good wishes, even to those you perceive as your enemy, and you’ll be making the world a better place.”
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